#i can't write those horrible things as doing permanent damage to anyone

[villain-disorder]

It's hard to keep the brain calm and kind to itself, with this mix of disorders I have. It knows what I can do, it knows how I feel and how I want to lash out despite all logic. I can never lash out, though. Sometimes I wish I could just so it would all go away. If I lashed out hard enough, I'd be left alone to not cause damage to anyone ever again after that. You know, get it all over with.

I so sorely want to be loved and cared about, and to feel loved and cared about, but another part of me just wants to be left alone because I can't help but feel like that's not possible. I feel that even if people love me now, eventually it'll be the final straw for them and I'll be left alone again. I'm not sure how to feel safe when my brain won't let me feel like anything is permanent, like abandonment is just around the corner.

I want to be listened to and loved and respected but sometimes I wish I'd be hurt deliberately enough that I'd have a good, justified reason to explode at someone other than myself for a change. But I feel horrible about that too. That's just making me feel selfish. I don't want to pick fights with those I love and I don't want them handed to me either. I just don't want to feel pain, or hurt people either. I can't handle hurting people that I actually manage to care about and I certainly can't handle any percieved hurt I get from it, regardless of there's any ill intent at all.

I'm obviously in a bit of a low. I'll end up fine, I always do, it's a part of the cycle. I just know that this will come back, because this is part of it all. A cycle of psychosis and depression and mania. Not sure if it'll end and I'll come out of it normal one day, with meds or what have you. But I'm a stubborn bitch, so I'm not going anywhere.

I'm not sure why I'm posting to Tumblr of all places. I guess it brings me comfort in a weird way, when there isn't anything else available. People who understand me and won't assume I'm evil for having cluster B disorders or whatever are here, at least. And I've separated myself from my system's main account, so I can just... Be. And I like that.

I might post personal things here more often? Anything negative will be tagged with #vent as always, so feel free to block that tag. It's easier to write here than in a physical book, anyway. Writing with pens and pencils isn't good for my hands.

[the-shrinkingviolet]

It's been 4 years

4 years since I've logged in or shared anything. (And apparently my blog is 13 years old now! Time flies!) I see it's changed quite a bit, so I might stick around. I don't know. On one hand I feel cringey about coming back and using Tumblr for some reason, but on the other hand I miss seeing the creative side to this site and sharing good art and my interests.

What really brought me back here though was the fact that I felt the need to make a post about how I'm feeling. To go back to "venting" on here like I used to. Just for the moment though. Thankfully, since being on medication I don't feel as trapped or stuck inside myself like I used to. I'm able to handle my emotions and thoughts and feelings in a much healthier way than I used to and actually talk about things. Thanks Prozac!

I really just feel the need to vent right now though in an effort to express myself, not because I don't talk about it, but I guess to just articulate better in words how I'm feeling and how I have felt the past 5 months.

April was a very difficult time for myself and my family and everything has changed tenfold since then. My father had a massive stroke and wound up in the hospital for nearly a week. He almost died and we were fully prepared to make funeral arrangements. But he came back around, sort of. Since then he's made leaps and bounds in progress physically. He has no paralysis, only some nerve damage and numbness of his feet and hands that come and go. He can walk well and does not need a cane or any other assistance. He passed physical therapy in only a few weeks with flying colors. Unfortunately it's the cognitive side of things are not good. There is permanent damage and he will never be the same person ever again. What caused the stroke was a severe blockage in his left carotid artery. He was on medication (and lifestyle and diet changes) these last several months to try to break up the blockage some so that he could have surgery to take the rest out and put a stent in. But none of the treatments have worked. The blockage is still there -- 90%+. So the only other option is to do a bypass through his scalp. There are many risks involving the surgery and of course after, and it won't prevent another stroke from occurring 100%, but it will help lower those odds. Despite this, despite showing my parents the studies and research how bypasses still can greatly reduce the risk of stroke despite all the other factors involved, my father has refused. The doctor basically said that without surgery, the next stroke he has will likely be worse than before and if it doesn't kill him it will render him unable to do much of anything.

My dad has since been forced into retirement and can never return to work. He was forced to sell his farm because he can't do the heavy lifting anymore. He can't tinker or reprogram technology like he used to. One of the smartest and headstrong men I knew now struggles to comprehend what he reads, cannot write, stutters horribly when talking (but can still speak sentences and is still undergoing speech therapy), and cannot drive. I see him feeling depressed and angry and grieving over what he's lost. It makes me sad and angry too and it brings me to tears thinking about it every time. And I really, really wish there was more I could do.

I mean, is there? I'm trying. I've been trying to find him new hobbies. But I don't know where to begin. He has autistic tendencies, so he's very specific with his hobbies and hates trying new things. He loves animals but cannot own a farm. He has always loved technology but has a hard time comprehending it now and it frustrates him trying to use a computer or phone anymore. He hates going out and has developed paranoia now since his stroke. He doesn't talk to anyone hardly, never really had before but now it's worse. His eyesight is permanently damaged now so reading is hard for him although he still does and tries his best. He does take walks, but not far or for very long. Again, I think because of the paranoia with people seeing him in this state now. He's never been an artsy or crafty type and doesn't like those things.

My brother lives at the house now and doesn't do much to help out. He's taken them to appointments when mom can't or doesn't feel like driving. He's fixed up some stuff around the house since the stroke happened, but that's about it. He's otherwise a pathetic piece of furniture that just takes up space, plays video games half the day, doesn't contribute to shit, complains about everything he doesn't like, yet still does not have a job after being back here these last few years. (No comment on my parents handling that situation -- I'm an asshole and I would've kicked him out after a year but whatever) My mother is stressed being power of attorney now with handling all of my dad's finances and benefits, while also going to appointments with him and explaining things to him to help him comprehend what's going on. She's doing a decent job handling it all. I've offered to help with the finances just to take some stress off her shoulders, but she refused. She says she can handle it, so be it. I do step in and chauffeur now to their long distance appointments when my brother refuses, because again, he's a useless piece of shit. The communication between my mom and my dad has been terrible though. She's not patient enough with him and cuts him off guessing what he's trying to say and it just frustrates him more. Between that and my brother just being a useless leech, the house is tense. Some days moreso than usual, and yesterday was one of those days. I couldn't wait to leave. I hate to say that because I want to spend as much time with my dad as I can while he's still here -- because I always have a sinking feeling that he won't be here by next year.

It's been hard jugging this with my job in which I can't even keep FMLA benefits with because the company they use loves to fuck people over and deny the benefits where they can because paperwork comes up "missing". (I call bullshit and I'm ready to kick someone's rear end through the phone now that I've had my claim closed 3 different times by these morons. Oi) Without these benefits in place, I'm not excused at my job to even care for a parent because heaven forbid the company I work for even remotely gives two shits about their slaves to offer an unpaid single day off. On top of all this I am in the process of job hunting yet again.

I guess that's all I have for now. Did this make me feel better? Eh, maybe? I don't know. I think I just wish I could live another life right now.

[giantkillerjack]

[EDIT: SO I MAY HAVE SLIGHTLY MISINTERPRETED THIS AS IT SAYING YOU SHOULD WRITE EVERY STORY YOU THINK OF BUT HEY LISTEN IF YOU HAVE EVER FEARED LOSING YOUR ABILITY TO CREATE ART, I THINK READING WHAT I WROTE MIGHT LEGIT HELP SOMEONE]

I mean, if architects actually built every building they built in their mind while showering, they each would already have built an entire city by now.

If every artist just drew all of the ideas they have on their commute, they would all have portfolios that could fill the Met.

But there are limited number of hours in the freaking day, y'all. Writing is an act of creative construction that requires skill and practice and a lot of time. You can learn to be faster. But guess what! That also takes! A LOT OF TIME!!

Don't be too hard on yourselves. Please. I'm so fucking serious about this.

I get that this tweet is probably a joke, and that is fine. But when I was younger, I would have read this post and then immediately thought about what a lazy piece of shit I was for not having written more, so I wanted to say:

Labor and time are deeply finite resources, and if you are living in capitalism, it pays to look out for language that does not acknowledge this truth!

(It's like when people point out that poor folks could technically eat healthier for the same amount of money: they always tend to leave out the hours of labor thatcooking requires from people who are already overworked! But it is a *cool fun way* [sarcasm] to ensure that folks are shamed for their poverty! Which also helps to keep them in it. Check out the Folding Ideas video about chicken nuggets for more info on that.)

Again, I don't think this person is bad for making this joke; it is not a horrible terrible thing to say and this is a very specific personal reaction I am having. But I just need people to know, in case they are like me, that absolutely no one is writing the entirety of every idea they have in the shower because that's impossible. The only exceptions are people who have very few ideas (in which case I don't think that sounds ideal) and also probably, like, Stephen King or whatever. (p sure he sold his soul to write that fast tbh. don't compare your writing speed to Stephen King, kids; he is a cryptid).

ALSO the POINT of brainstorming is to come up with more ideas than you could possibly finish!!! That's how you find the best ones! By having a lot of them!

And the moment you constrain yourself with a rule that says you have to follow through on every idea you have, your wild garden of ideas will cease to get the fresh air it needs to be free and growing! It will begin to wilt! You cannot FORCE a garden to grow better. You can only give it patience and care. (People are a lot like that too, despite what you may have heard.)

Not to mention, if you try to grow your garden with brute strength, you may end up pulling things up by the roots. Or, even worse, you could end up like I did: utterly fucking terrified as I watched it slowly die - not knowing how to stop it or if it is even possible for it to come back. (There was a garden here, full of living things, and now it is so horribly, devastatingly empty. What if it is empty forever?? What if *I* am empty forever? Why can't I push harder and FIX it??? Maybe if I push harder...)

And if this has happened to you, PLEASE know that IT IS ABSOLUTELY POSSIBLE FOR IT TO GROW BACK.

Because mine did. Better than before, even.

Not the same; never the same, and certainly not easy. But beautiful and mine and stronger and better. For me, it took intensive treatment for my severe mental and physical illnesses. And that work helped me to realize that I deserve to make art from a place of joy. For myself and no one else; not for profit or recognition - just for me. For the first time in YEARS.

Turns out that, for me, this was the first seed I needed to start regrowing the creative garden in my brain. Of course, I had to practice this new self-kindness: I had to keep choosing to do it again and again and again; I had to learn how to recognize and respect my own limits; I had to mess up a bunch; and then I had to try again. And to my absolute astonishment, the garden grew. It grows.

It feels like home again, in my heart and my mind. It is the farthest thing from empty.

I still have to do a LOT of conscious work (this is not the kind of post someone makes when this isn't taking conscious work; it is HARD and I frequently fully miss my body's cues), but I'm getting better the more I practice. And I'm getting... happier the more I practice. Which seems obvious, but it really isn't if you grew up only knowing how to motivate yourself through shame and fear.

And even though this year has been an absolute shitstorm, my garden stayed alive and helped sustain me this time.

I hope I am always so blessed that my shower time is full of more stories than I could ever finish in my lifetime. I hope if I lose it all again, I never forget that it can grow back.

Remember, comrades:

Dead WIPs are just fertilizer for new ones to grow out of.

It is straight-up anti-capitalist and radical to create art on your own terms and for your own joy (though professional artists still deserve respect and fair pay because we are all in this together!)

No garden of creativity is guaranteed to stay dead as long as you are still physically alive.

And if you feel dread at the idea of doing MORE of something you're supposed to love, then... maybe you are already doing your best. And maybe you deserve some kindness for that.

[lawrising-a]

( starter for @madetrouble !! )

tacenda ( or the words better left unsaid ) was always a foundation matthew believed in. reluctance tingles the air when he mulls over the word, because a part of his wayward soul wants to announce everything ---- though he still puts blind faith in the act full heartedly. it's normal, isn't it? to keep things under the weight of your pink tongue, locked away from the judgemental predatory minds of your own kind. people claim honesty is what breeds strong bonds, although in matt's experience, it's been the exact opposite. when he's honest, brutally blunt like an emperor's rugged sword, people go away. a slow process, usually tedious, but they leave nonetheless. and the former detective is left with the ruined, shattered pieces of that outcome ; trapped in a self deprecated prison that he knows was built with his own hands. this 'incident' happens too often to keep score ( he knows the number by heart, anyway ) and it's happened recently too. sure, it goes unsaid that everlock is a festering wound that can never glaze over. forever stuck on discolored skin. but it's not just that, it's all the words he said when he shouldn't have that haunts him too. sticking to him like flies to a corpse. drawn to the oozing pus, the trails of blood that prickle out of his tired ( beaten in ) pores.

there were his gruff comments aimed at the town itself that should've stayed in his head. scoffing at the civilians ; parading as judge, jury, and executioner. acting as if the deaths had been for naught. who gave him the right to determine that? ( his badge, right? his badge ---- ) did those comments stick with anyone he'd met? did he play a hand in placing guilt on calliope, on the pig-nosed man, or even mortimer? were two deaths on him?

then teala. jc. seems like a bad habit, speaking ill of the dead. of people who had only done their best. bleeding heart tenses up, trapped within the confines of his crumbling ribcage, and he expertly chokes down a wheeze that wants to wobble out ; as though he'd been crushed under the heel of something. a sign of emotional vulnerability so easily stomped out. because showing is telling, in a more intimate way than words could ever dream to be. poets wish they could express what they write. leaders wish they could act on the promises they speak. and that's why matthew is quick to straighten his posture, pretend like he's not being torn to shreds. act as though he never died when he's out in public. among others who will never know anything besides the safety net of normalcy.

or, to be fair, it's why he acts like this around … nikita. not because she doesn't get it ( ha, she doesn't ) but he pretends due to the fact she gets it too well. if she looks hard enough she'll see things that are tacenda. something he isn't ready to carry is her knowing the things he doesn't say … after all, hasn't he said enough raw honesty to her?

their argument earlier resurfaces. with him red faced and spitting, hands clenched at his side like weapons ramping up while he stood his ground. she didn't cower because she is ( was ) the troublemaker. took his storm with an almost bored expression. it was then he noticed the overwhelming absence of everyone, especially a certain record producer she'd been keen on standing in front of one of the many times they've fought. it burst from him then. locked and loaded and thriving to win ; the survivalist part in him clawing for it. when he remembers what he said now, tersely walking to where nikita currently resides, he shudders with pure disgust. how could he be so agonizingly cruel? why did he have to be honest with her? so honest to the point he was an ugly shadow threatening to suffocate the life out of her that everlock failed to?

‘you know manny should be here, not you, right?’ he'd said, starting off dead toned until he saw her breaking ---- levitating his voice with victory. ‘safiya should be here. anyone but you, but especially him, since he had a chance.’

the words ‘since there was a choice’ went unspoken, yet the damage had been dealt with expertise. and matt had turned around and stalked off, the new adorned society jacket whipping violently with the motion. 'i hate you' whispered in the darkness, not from his own pink mouth, but from the context. implication rests in everything and he's never messed up so bad. letting that linger in her head for hours while he fixed himself together. cruelty no longer shines on him when he cautiously steps up to her door. only veiled tired eyes that look too swollen, lips set in a permanent frown, and rainflowers resting oddly in his arms. cradled like a newborn baby. not the first time he's brought a beautiful lady flowers! what's original this time around, however, is the fact he's going to apologize for not leaving certain words unsaid. and for, erm, bringing up her dead best friend solely to use against her … yup, that definitely takes a 'never done before' spot. there's fawn hair poking out of place from the clearly haphazard way he's applied his gel ; honestly, what a complete mess. the former detective is miserable and it shows all over his lean form.

how do you say sorry for things already said? matt's never apologized much before. pride worn tightly, proudly. he lets things fester and does his best to move on, convinced he did all he could. but after losing so many people after opening his big mouth, he can't handle the idea of losing the former troublemaker too. as much as he wants to not need her, he knows he does. thinking of her makes his soul ache, wriggling uncertainly in his body. being away from her is more tortuous than being stuck with her. if something happens to her, matt … doesn't want to think of what he'd do. especially if the last things he said were … that.

( don't leave me don't leave me, please don't go anywhere i can't follow, nikita ---- )

knuckles rasp against the door. knock knock knock! being made of sensitive skin isn't as fun as you'd think, since matt feels the sting the moment the act's over with. withdrawing his hand to cling to the rainflower stems again. impatience eats him alive when he's not answered fast enough, and with an impulsive quickness he reaches that very arm out once more to twist the handle. is this place hers? was she so utterly confident in her abilities to leave it unlocked? they'd have to discuss safety precautions later. for now …

“hi, hello, um,” sputters matthew, suddenly feeling so self conscious when he's face to face with her. “you weren't answering quickly, and i got worried ----” he lies, stopping midway through to swallow.

he slowly pushes the flower towards her, keeping eye contact even if it hurts. “we didn't really finish our talk earlier since i ran away, so i thought, hey! it deserves an ending. we both need all the closure we can get so … i'm sorry. for earlier.”

unbeknownst to him, matthew doesn't know how much he's downplaying this in an attempt to breeze by it. he's always been rather horrible at confrontation. aftermaths especially.

he's rarely stuck around for those.

[ask-ivory]

RWBY Random Rant #2!

What villain is the best? (Cinder vs Roman)

Second rant everyone! This one may be a bit longer than the first, so if you don't have time but find this interesting, then I suggest reading this later. If you have infinite time on your hands and your board, then this might help depending on your interests. So let's jump into today's rant!

So, the world of Remnant is a big place. There, you'll find friendly people, weird people, mean people, and people who are just flat out crazy. But today, we're looking at a certain group of people: Villains. Now before we jump in to the blender of craziness, this post is an analysis that can be used for predictions and plot lines. I may be wrong, but I'm writing this off of what I know.

Anyways... Let's start with the basic question, What IS a villain? A villain (or for the more technical term: antagonist) is a character who is trying to stop the hero (or protagonist) from accomplishing his or her goal. Either this, or they're trying to get something and the hero is trying to stop them because what the villain wants is wrong. This is the loosest definition, so you can imagine that this goes way deeper than you think.

There are some things that you need to ask and have answered before you confirm who is the villain in a story. Some of which includes the following:

Who is this guy? (Basic background)

Why is he or she interested in this scenario? (Could this benefit to their cause?)

Why are they doing this? (If so, then why?)

So if we take this and try and apply it to the "villain" we can tell if this is a VILLAIN. Another important thing to note is the quality of the character. What sort of events cause the villain to act like this, and why?

Well, when we're talking RWBY, then villains come in different shapes and sizes. Some villains are immature, and others have experienced enough pain and defeat to know exactly what will work to achieve their goal and/or stop the hero. Then you have the peeps in the middle who aren't as overwhelming as the big baddie, but have enough common sense to know what's going on, what needs to be done, and why they're doing it.

So I'mma gonna start at the bottom of the rainbow and work my way up to the best colors. I'll also be rating these characters on a scale of one to ten. I won't do everyone. Let's start with the entire fandom's LEAST favorite character.

Cinder Fall

Stars: 0/10

Now if I was a writer for the show, I think the most interesting thing that could happen to Cinder is if she just dropped dead. That's how bad she. Literally. Now, what makes her so disgusting? There are two answers.

She did horrible things. Like hacking the communication towers (With help from Watts, of course), making the people at the Vytal Festival Tournament doubt the leaders of Vale, and, to top it off, KILLED Pyrrah and Ozpin.

But these are the actions a normal villain would do, so what really makes her Terrible? The second answer has the reason.

2. She's a poorly written character with a lack of depth are perception.

I have no idea what made the writers want to make Cinder a hated character, but whatever did worked really well. Honestly, it's like Roosterteeth did the opposite of what Disney did to Cinderella. But when I say she lacks depth, I mean there is nothing that makes her character any good. She's also one of the biggest mysteries in the show, and I don't mean that in a good way. Here are some of the questions that I often ask about her:

Why does she want power?

Does she want to rule the world?

Why does she wear an outfit that's guaranteed to help her freeze to death?

Does she want to kill Salem?

Why doesn't she learn from her mistakes?

WHY THE HECK DOES SHE EVEN EXIST?!?!?!

Well, after some examination, I found out something shocking. She is just a plot device. She may talk and act evil, but in reality, she's just there so that the characters have something to worry about. She has nothing that makes her good, or relatable. To add to that, she's like the Grimm, all she does is attack and kill and if she loses, she DOESN'T reflect on her actions, and she DOESN'T try to fix her mistakes. She just goes back into the fight with the same strategy as before. If the main protagonists studied Cinder's basic movement, then they would be able to take her down, no doubt.

Can Cinder be saved? The answer is no. I bet that, judging from the road she's going down, her strategy will be her ultimate end.

Hazel Rainheart

(I may have spelled his name wrong. Sorry.😁)

Stars: 2/10 ☆☆

Now Hazel is a bit more interesting. Unlike Cinder, he has a reason he's on the side he is now, but like everyone, he has his flaws. He lets his anger get the better of him, and he's quick to judge. But the real reason why he's not so good is because of his reasoning. His sister died on a training mission because SHE chose to become a huntress. But Hazel takes all of his anger out on Oscar and Ozpin just because he (Ozpin) was the headmaster of Beacon, and let her into the school in the first place.

And I gotta say, this reasoning is understandable, but it's still dumb.

But there is something that makes Hazel a huge threat to the heros: his semblance of pain nullification. This gives him the ability to block out pain. And I kinda get where it comes from.

When his sister died, he was broken. She was probably the only family Hazel had, and when she was killed, he wanted to block out the emptiness, the grief, the pain. Thus his semblance was unlocked and he could no longer feel pain. This ability is probably how his aura charges up so quickly. If pain can block aura from charging, then he has the tools to be a force to be reckoned with. The only downside is that just because he can't feel pain doesn't mean that he's not hurt.

Can Hazel be saved? Maybe. But if he goes on a redemption arch, then he will probably die. But that doesn't mean that he's a lost cause. There's still plenty of things that can be added to Hazel's character to make it better. But at the present, he could be better.

Adam Taurus

Stars 2/10 ☆☆

This character is relatively horrible. In fact, he's worse than Hazel!

But the thing is, he's like Hazel in a special way: he has a tragic past. Certain events that wreck a kid's childhood can scar them for life. Adam was discriminated for his faunus traits, and this set him on a path of revenge that would be his bitter end.

He was a threat, but small compared to the real one. His semblance made him very dangerous, but it also makes sense. To be more specific, his semblance is, what I like to call, absorption of impact (or for the EruptionFang version, moon slice). This gives him the ability to absorb any damage done by the enemy into his blade, then release it back at a more powerful rate. This can cause devastating damage to both the enemy and the environment. As for why he had this semblance is pretty basic once you think about it.

Adam desired to get back at those who mistreated him. He wanted them to feel his pain, but a lot more extreme. He wanted them to feel what he felt, but worse.

Adam had a lot of potential, but, well when you get stabbed in the back, it's not easy to get back at your enemies. Over all in terms of writing, the thing that would've made him better was a better understanding of what he went through.

Tyrian Callows

Stars 4/10 ☆☆☆☆

If Adam wasn't crazy enough for you, then Tyrian's your go to guy.

I think that Tyrian is insane enough to join Salem, but has enough sense to know how to kill. He's kinda tough to figure out, but thanks to some much needed information in Volume 7, we now know a bit about Tyrian's past.

Tyrian was a mad man killer on the continent of Anima but was captured. He was then rescued by Salem and her Grimm. Since he's mad he owed his life to her ever since.

He's mad, so there's no bad excuse. And to add to that, he is flat down dangerous. His semblance is the ability to cut through aura, making him a hard to beat.

Can Tyrian be saved? Not really. The only way to kill him is for someone to fall victim to him while another strikes the killing blow.

Doctor Aurthor Watts

Stars: 5/10 ☆☆☆☆☆

Alright. Here we go!

Watts is very interesting. That's saying alot. Now that we have more information on him, it's easier to see why he wants to screwer Ironwood.

He was an Atlasian scientist who went against Pietro in the effort to make something great for Atlas. While Watts helped write the Atlas security code, Pietro found that the best inspiration is found inside. That was were Penny was created. Watts was disgraced and faked his death. Then Salem found him and he joined her group to get both revenge on Ironwood and respect from Atlas. Though he is clearly unaware of what Salem's true plans are.

He is a wiz when it comes to technology. Besides that, I believe he has some experience with combat. His semblance could have something to do with technology, but we're still figuring that out.

Can Watts be saved? Writing wise, maybe we can get more details about Watts in the final episodes. He's not a lost cause when it comes being a more interesting villain.

Story wise though? He's a dead man.

Salem

Stars: 6/10 ☆☆☆☆☆☆

Yes, I didn't save her for until the end.😼

Now from the writer's point of view, Salem's backstory has been completely fleshed out. It's pretty complicated so I won't go into details. But from that alone, Salem's actons make sense. As a prisoner of life, she yearns to be free. She wants to die. And she believes that the only way to do this is to divide humanity and summon the gods in there darkest hour. Then the gods destroy the world and Salem is free. She doesn't care about the people she is hurting. She hates humanity and wants to destroy everything. But above all, she wants to get permanent revenge on her ex Ozma (or Ozpin or Oscar). She wants him to die and stay dead when millennia ago she made great sacrifices to try bringing him back from the dead.

Now she has nothing to show for it except endless years of war, hatred, and suffering. There is some relation that one can have with Salem. If anyone who is reading this tried to do something for someone you cared about, but got nothing to show for it in return, then that's what Salem would be feeling. And this has caused her to spiral into madness. She is the purest definition of crazy.

Can Salem be saved? It depends at this point. Story wise, most likely not.

Emerald and Mercury!

Stars for them both 7/10 ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

These two are going to be paired in honor of their beloved ship: Emercury.

Both characters have tragic pasts, so that gives them some common ground, but both are looking for something different. Emerald is looking for love, the one thing that she never had in her entire life. Mercury is looking for a purpose in life, a way to make himself Worthy of greatness. He claims that Cinder recruiting him was just destiny.

Both of these peeps are incredibly good at what they do. Both can fight better than the members of team CFVY.

Emerald's semblance is Perception manipulation, which makes perfect sense in her case. In a very special case, her semblance is similar to Adam's. She wants others to see what she sees, Emerald wants people to see how alone she is, and just how much she needs family. Her semblance is an incarnation of her desire. And she uses it to make people see what she wants them to see.

Mercury's semblance is currently unknown at this time. But we do know that his semblance was stolen by his father. After killing him, Mercury probably got his semblance back, but lives under the illusion that it's still gone.

Mercury grew up in an abusive household, under the guard of a murderer. He was tortured everyday by his father.

Emerald grew up on the streets.

Basically, these characters are well written, and both have great potential as well. There's even some hope of a redemption Arch for these two, and possibly some romance.

Can Emerald and Mercury be saved? Writing wise, yes. More trauma and info can definitely help. Story wise? Hopefully, yes.

Roman Torchwick

Stars: 9/10 ☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆

Time for the classics!

This charming young schemer has been the first character in the actual show. Fans everywhere love him, and will often mark him as the best villain. Honestly, I have nothing against it. But for the sake of this post, let's break down this lovely character and examine his awesomeness.

Roman's origin is currently unknown, but maybe we'll get some light cast on it with Neo's backstory as well. Many believe that he is somehow connected to Brunswick Farms, and it's still a possibility that has yet to be ruled out.

Roman is a good fighter and a master mind behind the underground crime rings of Vale. By himself, he is a relatively good fighter. Though his semblance has yet to be determined, he has his own Roman candle.

Another aspect of this character that won the hearts of fans is his charming personality. I mean, who can blame him? Though his death was sudden, and unfair, his handsome face will live on in the hearts of many.

Neo Politan

Stars: 10/10⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

The star of the show, folks!

Neo made her big enterence in Volume 2 episode 4 Painting the Town, and ever since has been one of the most popular characters in the entire show. If you break down Neo's character based on what we know, then it's actually really interesting. Let's scoop ice cream!

Neo's backstory is unknown, but we're hoping to have some light shed on the subject. Based off of the song "One Thing", we can tell that Neo's backstory is tragic in some way. She lost everything except for Roman. And she is willing to fight to protect Roman from the death. How do I know?

Her semblance is called illusions by many, but Unicorn of War calls it Mirrors, which I think is the most accurate. Her semblance gives her the ability to reflect her opponent's attacks upon themselves, and she can change her appearance right down to her hair and eye color.

What does any of this have to do with protecting Roman? She will use Any means necessary to protect what little she has left, and to her, that one thing is enough. She Will change her identity as many times as possible, and she often gets away with it. But she is so fierce in protecting that during a fight, any pain that the enemy can dish out to her dumdum would make her determined to kick her opponent's butt. She would give them a taste of their own medicine and literally reflect their attacks upon themselves.

She is a reflection of protection. And like that reflection she represents, she says not a word, but shows people how exactly they can hurt the one she loves.

After Roman's death, Neo Politan is determined to reflect her loves justice upon the true enemies. If you can't face yourself, then you can't face Neo.

So, there you have it, villains everywhere.

Be sure to reblog if you found this interesting!

If you have questions, then ask away!😁

[rainbowwhimsyart]

Faedom Week Day One : Alternate Universe

Okay, here it is. A modern au (well, the rough outline for one anyway, lol. Didn't get a chance to write it out fully, but here's a general summary.)

This is for the 2019 Faedom challenge week, which is all about creating fanworks for @not-poignant 's Faetales verse.

Okay, so imagine that modern AU Augus owns a cafe. They make vegan fusion dishes. It's called Balance. Eran is the head chef, specializes in cooking directly over live flame and charcoal in an open - air cooking pit outside. The fact that they even were able to get the licenses for that kind of set up is suspicious. Other business owners in the area joke that Augus must have used some kind of mind- control powers to have gotten that zoning pushed through. 

Mosk is homeless and squatting in the area. He meets Mikkel, who is doing homeless outreach for the local community mental health. Mikkel can get him a job, and a bed at one of the local shelters. Mosk doesn't want to stay at the shelter, he's got a system. Gym membership, laundromats for washing clothes, and if he does some sex work, it's nobody's business but his. 

Mikkel reminds him that winter will be here soon, and if he works a steady job and saves enough, Mikkel says he can get him actual housing. Mikkel knows some people who are looking for a full time barrista/cashier. Best part? Mosk will eat for free while he's on shift. 

Mosk reluctantly agrees. Meets at Balance, Mikkel introduces him to Augus, the owner. Augus talks to him for 5 minutes and is like, yeah fine. He can work for a trial period, we'll see how it goes. $15 an hour plus tips during the trial period, with a raise of he gets hired permanently, which is wildly generous for a barista. Mosk just stares at Augus, wondering if he's going to be expected to blow him for the job. 

It turns out that Augus doesn't spend a ton of time on site, he spends most of his time cultivating and caring for the gardens and grounds of the historical manor his husband inherited, that they now rent out for events. 

Augus introduces him to Julvia, the manager of the cafe, and then leaves. She shows him how the shop runs, starts training him a little bit, and has him jump on register then and there. Mosk is surprised that they already trust him with the money. But she does, and even stranger, she is kind to him. She doesn't seem to care that he's awkward and abrupt with the customers. Doesn't seem to care that his clothes are worn and a little tattered, that his sneakers have holes in them.

 She tells him that Mosk will meet Eran, the head chef, soon. He's on vacation visiting his family, but he should be back in a week or so.

 In the meantime, an easygoing and extroverted man named Ash is covering for Eran. Apparently he steps in sometimes to help with large catering orders, and covers for Eran sometimes.  At the end of shift, Ash brings up an opportunity for Mosk to make some extra money on the side. Mosk immediately assumes that he means sex, and since Ash isn't unattractive at all and doesn't seem inclined to damage him, Mosk decides that he could use the extra money, and goes for it. It's a painfully  awkward moment. 

Ash clarifies that there are frequently events that Balance caters at the manor, and they always need servers.  If he's interested, he should ask Julvia to put him in touch with Ash, who is apparently August's brother and the hospitality manager of the Manor.

Mosk is mortified but Ash handles it pretty gracefully and even winks at Mosk before he leaves. 

Mosk settles in, and is cautiously hopeful that he might be able to get his own place, to grow a new life there. He's saving his money, keeps it on him at all times, changes out small bills for larger bills and keeps them tucked in his shoes. 

Eran comes back and Mosk finally gets to meet him. Of course he's gorgeous. Of course he's a little bit of a hipster and his ass looks amazing in those jeans, the jerk. Of course he wears eyeliner (though Mosk thinks, resentfully, that his eyes do look beautiful to a nearly otherworldly degree when smudged with black and gold) . 

Even worse, Eran is constantly condescending to him. I mean, isn't it obvious that's what he's doing whenever he is so persistently kind to Mosk? Why else would he be so nice? I mean, the nerve, always trying to feed him and asking him how his day is going and flirting with him. It has to be some kind of joke.

Mosk is flustered and, remembering his awkward encounter with Ash (and assuming Ash passed the story along), is caustic and rude back. Eran's food is 'hippy new age bullshit', Mosk obviously hates it (even though he eats every bite), and Eran can fuck off with trying to feed him that 'rich-bitch burnt grass garbage'.

Eran just laughs it off and keeps making him new dishes, until he finds a few that Mosk 'Doesn't hate, I guess'. It must be a coincidence when those dishes become regular offerings on the menu, allowing Mosk to eat them daily when he's at work. 

One day, walking back to where he is squatting, Mosk is jumped and beaten up really badly. They rob him, beat him, and even take his shoes, which means his money is gone. He is found and taken to the hospital, and when they need to contact someone, Mosk gives them Mikkel's number.  Mosk's leg has been broken, and several of his fingers. 

Unbeknownst to Mosk, Mikkel can't come get him, he's out of town. He calls Augus, who is in the middle of an event at the manor. Ash is there too, and he can't leave either, so he sends Eran. 

Eran goes to pick up Mosk at the hospital, Mosk argues. The hospital won't release him without a ride. Mosk finally agrees just so he can get out of there. The hospital gives him crutches which he can't fully use because of his fingers. 

Eran takes him to go get his prescriptions filled, and then asks him where to drop him off. Mosk tries to get him to let him out several blocks away, but Eran insists that Mosk let him help him inside. Mosk gets angry and finally agrees, directs Eran to building he's squatting at. 

Eran is horrified at the conditions Mosk has been living in, tells him that he's not staying there. Mosk is too tired to argue. They grab Mosk's backpack and Eran takes him back to his house. 

Mosk doesn't want to stay there, only agrees to stay until he's well enough to leave on his own. Eran doesn't agree but doesn't disagree (plans on convincing Mosk to stay). 

Eran puts Mosk up in his guest room. Mosk is terrified that he's going to lose his job. Admits that he's lost his entire savings when he got jumped. Eran assures him that he'll still have a job. 

Augus and Ash come by the next day, and promise that he's not going to lose his job. In fact, in the meantime, Augus has a bunch of electronic files and paperwork that need to be organized, and Mosk can do that remotely and be relatively stationary, yes? He says that, factoring in the tips Mosk would have been making, that would have been roughly $20 an hour, so that's what Augus will pay him. Mosk is stunned. Augus leaves him a potted plant. Ash leaves him his old Nintendo DS.

Cue 'and they were roommates!' / sick fic bits, with Mosk being the WORST patient ever. Of course, Eran and Mosk start slowly bonding despite Mosk's resistance. Eran gets a little black cat, says it's for him but really it's for Mosk. Mosk pretends to hate it but secretly (and then not so secretly) loves it more than anything. Mosk names him Raven, and Eran jokes that Mosk treats him like a little prince. They start calling him The Raven Prince. Eran gets strangely jealous that Mosk loves on the cat so much, wishes that Mosk would pet HIM like that. 

When Mosk starts getting a little more mobile, he starts cleaning the apartment, doing Eran's laundry, making his bed in the morning, etc. Eran tries to tell him that he doesn't have to do that, but Mosk seems ready to bolt otherwise, so Eran just starts praising him for it instead. Eran notices how much Mosk loves the plant that Augus brought him, starts bringing him home little succulents and plants. Mosk is flustered but accepts the plants, claiming that 'he'll take care of them for Eran'. Mosk asks Eran to teach him how to cook. Eran does. It's super cute. 

Eventually, Mosk goes back to working at the cafe, and starts talking about moving out. Eran tells him that "The Raven Prince would be so sad if you left, he would be heartbroken." (Suuuure, Eran. TRP would be the one who is  heartbroken. Suure.)

 Mosk decides to stay a little longer, because who would do Eran's laundry for him if he wasn't there? Who would make sure that Eran's bed was perfectly made? Eran surely wouldn't do it for himself, considering the state of his apartment before Mosk came. Mosk is obviously doing him a favor by staying. 

One day at work, one of his old clients shows up and gives him a hard time, tells Mosk he's going to show up at closing and fuck him in the alleyway out back. Mosk walks out without telling anyone, just straight up leaves without telling anyone. It is not great at the cafe, and Augus ends up having to come in and run the cash register. He is NOT happy. He asks Eran what happened, Eran has no idea. 

Mosk doesn't come home that night, and Eran goes looking for him. Finds him back outside of where he was squatting before, but now that building has been knocked down and construction has started on new overpriced condos (Built by Davix and Olphix Associates, who seem to be buying up A LOT of property in the area. But that's neither here nor there). Mosk is pretty dissociated, but when Eran shows up, he's snaps back enough to be crushingly embarrasses and ashamed at what happened, and defensively lashes out at Eran, like is genuinely mean,and says some truly horrible things to Eran. Eran ends up leaving. Mosk doesn't come back to work. Doesn't go back to Eran's house. Just disappears. Eran lies to himself and says it's fine. It's not fine.

One day the next week, Mikkel comes in and asks where Mosk is. Eran tells him his version of the events as he knows them (which may be just a tad bit colored by his own hurt feelings). Mikkel demands to see the footage (of course there are security cameras. Augus's husband INSISTED on it. ) of what happened before Mosk left. He calls them all idiots for not checking it sooner. 

Now they have to find Mosk, but he's not at any of his old haunts. Eventually Mikkel tracks him down to a very shady pay-by-the-week motel. He's almost out of his savings. He's been planning on going back to sex work. Mikkel tells him he could do that, or he could have his old job back. They watched the footage. They know he was threatened. 

Mosk is humiliated, because now everyone knows about his history. Eventually Mikkel talks him into going back to the cafe. Mosk ignores Eran to the best of his ability. Eran is apologetic and tries to convince Mosk to 'come home'. He refuses. 

Eventually Eran gets him to at least come over and visit with TRP. He cooks Mosk his favorite meal. He kisses Mosk for the first time. Mosk is the physical embodiment of Gay Panic, but he doesn't run. Eran has FEELINGS. 

They start dating, though Mosk refuses to call Eran his boyfriend. Eran keeps trying to convince him to move back in, but Mosk refuses. Eran is worried about Mosk's independence, about his lack of protection, but he has to let Mosk do what he's going to do. 

When Eran's family has a disaster (plane crash in Alaska, multiple family members killed), Mosk steps in and comes to take care of him. Eran is in a deep depression, is grieving. Mosk is strangely good at holding space for Eran. Eran begs him to stay. Mosk agrees, but won't share a room with Eran. 

Eran slowly comes out of the deepest part of his depression, and he and Mosk grow even closer. Mosk gets another raise at the cafe. Eran goes back to work. 

Cue some major drama with Davix & Olphix Associates trying to buy up Balance. It looks like all of their jobs are in jeopardy due to some kind of legal loophole.  It looks like Balance may have to close its doors forever. 

But wait! Mosk remembers some important piece of paperwork that he filed for Augus, and it's the critical piece of information that saves the day! Davix and Olphix give up (for now), and their jobs are safe. Eran tells Mosk that he loves him. Mosk…doesn't run away. Eran thinks that is enough.

Time skip, several months in the future. It's Christmas time, and today, the cafe is closed to customers, because Augus and Gwyn are throwing the staff a holiday party. 

They have karaoke. Everyone gets tipsy, including Mosk. Mosk gets up on the karaoke machine, sings a love song to Eran (in a surprisingly sweet tenor). Tells Eran that he loves him. Eran is like, ohhh bby are you SURE you wanted to do this in front of all of our coworkers? And Mosk is like, you're an idiot, who do you think organized this party? And then… 

MOSK PROPOSES TO ERAN IN FRONT OF EVERYONE. 

ERAN OF COURSE SAYS YES. 

Epilogue: Eran is hovering around the food tent at the manor. There's an event that's going on, and he wants to make sure everything is running smoothly. Ash tells him that it is, and promises that he won't miss the ceremony.

Augus comes and grabs Eran and tells him to leave the food staff alone, that he's not allowed anywhere near the food tent again for the rest of the night. It's Eran's wedding, after all. He shouldn't be be working. Eran agrees.

 Augus is tipsy, regales him with the story of his and Gwyn's wedding. Gives him slightly - drunken, very TMI advice for his honeymoon. Eran just nods and manages to keep a straight face.

Eran gets ready to walk down the aisle, which is filled with his friends and what's left of his family. He sees his husband to be, and thinks about the life they will build together, about all they've overcome.

Eran and Mosk read their vows. Augus is crying. Gwyn is holding his hand.

They say 'I do' and kiss. And step into their brand new future. Together. 

[fapangel]

Tell me, anon, how do you feel about going to Mars - to stay?// You do know that NASA got a half a million applications to do just that? Look, I think that anon attempted to point out that the Left is so far gone, that yes, they would allow a Carrier to go down just to take a swing at Trump. After the shooting that the baseball game, I just can't put it past them.

… okay, bruh, I get where you’re coming from, but I’m going to tell you the same thing I tell every fuckhead who says “Obama is a Muslim:” that doesn’t give you free license to sling the same breathtaking, demonizing slanders the Left does. And that includes not slandering everyone on The Other Side by the actions and words of their most violent and insane members.

Listen, Obama was a shitshow. He was a narcissistic asshole who had his dick sucked so much from Day One that he came to believe he really was infallible, a narcissist that indulged his own whims to the detriment of long-standing alliances from day one, when one of his first acts in office was to exile the Winston Churchill bust from his office in favor of an MLK one. If you think that’s not important, I’ll let you read between the lines of this CNN shill piece trying to defend it and decide for yourself, given the British reaction and the history of the gesture, what the message that sent was. Also consider this:

 Winston S. Churchill is the only U.S. Navy vessel to have a Royal Navy Officer permanently assigned to the ship’s company (usually a Navigation Officer).[3] The U.S. Navy had a permanent U.S. Navy Officer on the Royal Navy ship, HMS Marlborough, until its decommission on 8 July 2005.

Moving that bust out of the Oval Office mattered. And while the impact of that at the beginning of Obama’s reign was minor, what he did at the end of it was not - the man with essentially anti-colonialist views ended up lecturing Duterte, the democratically-elected President of a sovereign nation, as if the Philippines was still our fucking colonial lapdog. He managed to damage one of our most important regional alliances and open the door to a China eager to capitalize on it at the worst possible goddamned time. He’s a prick, who’s full of himself: 

This is precisely why his Big Legacy, Obamacare, is a fucking dumpster fire - because it was forced through the Senate without a proper vote, using the Slaughter Rule, without fuck one being given for the fact that the people who’s co-operation they’d need to make Obamacare work - i.e., state governments - were the same ones they completely blew off when crafting it. Even if you think that Obamacare was totally fine and only those evil conservative states refusing to “pay their fair share” sabotaged it, you can’t deny that the Democrats - led by Obama - are the ones that rammed it down their throats while screaming “EAT IT, BITCH!” Politically, it was built to fail. 

But that’s just the tip of the iceberg. What about Obama politicizing the executive branch to an unheard of degree? Examples? Using the IRS against his political opponents, for one. Or the time when twenty-six states sued to stop (another) of Obama’s executive actions on immigration policy, and his Justice Department responded by willful and active obstruction of the legal process so severe that the Federal Judge called it out as deliberate deception, and ordered every single one of the government lawyers to take remedial ethics classes. This is also the same Justice Department, under that fuck Eric Holder, that presided over the “Fast and Furious” gun-walking “sting” op that deliberately let American guns get smuggled to Mexico - ignoring multiple tips and reports from other gun dealers/FFL holders who knew who the smugglers were and how shady they were. Not only did the “sting” operation utterly fucking fail, but a US Border Patrol agent was killed by one of the weapons. And he wasn’t the only one - check out this NBC report that didn’t age so well, full of horror and so aghast at how American guns are fueling that awful Mexican drug war. Fuckin NRA, amirite? This is what Obama did for brown people - he killed a lot of them. Oh, he also killed two fucking pipelines - Keystone XL and in his last days in office put a pause on the Dakota Access - because fuck energy independence, oil is evil, Elon Musk is building those nifty electric cars, just pony up $100,000 like all the rich Sillicon Valley cunts do! Oh, he also killed Yucca Mountain, because FUCK nuclear power! And fuck the tons, literally TONS of already generated nuclear waste sitting in aging, cracking containment pools at shut-down decommissioned power plants across America - nuclear power is bad, and he cares about the environment, just not all the environments near those shut-down plants. 

Are you getting the picture? I could keep going all fucking night. I hate Obama. I hate the motherfucker. They have literally written BOOKS about all the horrible, stupid, and downright criminal shit the son of a bitch did - oh, how about the deliberate spreading and down-classifying of information and the “unmasking” of people in domestic intelligence reports for political purposes? See, I’m still going! 

So if you’re a conservative, and you know all this shit, why are you standing there comparing him to leftists? Because this is how the real radical leftists see him:

I could write you a book just about how badly Obama fucked up everything he did on the War on Terror, but you cannot deny that he did fight the War on Terror. For fucks sake, he even used the troop surge in Afghanistan that McCain said he wouldn’t - even if his pulling troops out of Iraq, despite all indications that they weren’t ready for it, created the power vacuum that allowed ISIS to rise. He’s a squeamish little bitch constantly trying to pick up a turd by the clean end, and that cost him time and time again (like the time he tried to be all taciturn and circumspect over having Osama killed, then bragged about killing Osama during his midterm election campaign.) But he’s not a radical leftist, because he killed brown people, and they just ain’t down with that, bro. He also deported more immigrants than any other US President in history. If you think leftists didn’t scream about that, just look at the WaPo trying their damndest to soften the blow. Or hell, just look at what the actual radical insane leftists say themselves: “The idea of white countries having borders is inherently racist.” Yes. Borders. Inherently racist. But only for whites. Brown people can kick us the fuck out - or murder Otto Warmbier - because of our fucking privilege, man. They need their safe spaces, even if that’s an entire country, so just deal, man, just deal!

You, as an alleged conservative, know all these things. You know the length and breadth of Obama’s fuckups and outright crimes. So why the hell do you start hurling demented slanders like a lunatic leftist, instead of making actual arguments, like a rational human being? Obama is many things, mostly bad, but he is not bug-fuck insane. He’s not calling for violence, the suppression of free speech with violence, or characterizing American sovereignty as inherently racist. So when someone stands there and says Obama would “murder an entire battle fleet just to fuck Trump,” it is exactly, exactly, the same kind of gibbering fucking lunacy exhibited by the left wing, like Phil Montag screaming that he wished Scalice had died in the shooting because those fuckin Republicans are takin our healthcare, man, so he deserves to be murdered. 

Listen to the video. LISTEN to the end of it, where another Democratic Party official tells him, to his face, that he recorded the whole thing and that he’s going to release it. There are still liberals and sane people in the Democratic Party who have not surrendered to the militant Left, and they do not approve or condone the lunatics calling for violence and murder.

But if they cross the aisle and all they meet are people screaming that Obama is a fucking nigger, Obama is a fucking Muslim, Obama wants to murder American soldiers and sailors and rape your daughter and burn your house down and turn America into a caliphate, they’re going to step back and decide that their own side is the lesser evil. Do you understand what I’m saying? The way the Left is right now - a bunch of screaming fucking lunatics powered by blind hate, driven by their conviction that everyone that doesn’t agree with them is an evil, racist Nazi bigot - that’s exactly what you look like to the sane liberals across the aisle when you conflate every Democrat with the insane, violent leftists. And a lot of the people in the Republican party who do this, do it because they’re not much better than leftists themselves - dogmatic assholes, idiots, the usual wastes of carbon that’d probably be screaming FUCK TRUMP #RESIST right now if they’d grown up with parents that voted Democrat instead of Republican. 

We are better than the Left for three reasons: one, we are actually in touch with reality, rather than basing our worldview on blind, fervent and zealous hatred of anyone espousing doctrine that goes against our Holy Writ. Two, we make arguments, and judge by arguments, because we give a fuck about the truth, instead of claiming that our feelz and idealz and burning Brooklyn Rage give us the right to have it all our way, and Three - and this is the big one - we are not dogmatic, tribal fucks who will tolerate any lying, thieving, raping monster in our midst just because he’s on “our side.” 

We police our own. 

Consider this policing.